Day 20 – Matthew Chapter 8

<Meditation>

  • The faith to pray believing that it has already happened is a faith given by God.
  • The faith of the centurion: He requested Jesus to heal his servant suffering from paralysis, saying, “Lord, you do not need to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed.” Jesus remarked that He had not seen such faith before.
  • In verse 9, after hearing the centurion’s words, Jesus uses the term ‘children of the kingdom’ in verse 12, which I find hard to understand. While many will sit with the patriarchs of faith in the kingdom of heaven, the ‘children of the kingdom’ will be thrown into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Does this imply a distinction already made on earth between God’s children and others? It’s unclear.
  • Verse 22: What does it mean when Jesus tells a disciple, “Let the dead bury their own dead”? How is this related to the statement that God is not the God of the dead, but of the living?

*** Reference: Luke 20:28 ***

  • It’s stated that the dead, having been resurrected, are alive before God.
  • Does this mean that conducting funerals in this world is merely a ritual for our own satisfaction?
  • Examples of ancient funeral rites: Stone tombs (from the Paleolithic era, about 2.5 million to 10,000 years ago) and pyramids (circa 3000 BC).

<Application>

The relationship between Samantha and me has become strangely awkward. The events of that day remain utterly baffling to me. It happened the day after I resolved to ensure Samantha could receive baptism in Texas. The occurrences that morning can only be attributed to satanic interference. While it seems there’s no way to resolve the feelings between us, I trust God for a resolution and pray. I believe He will not leave His returned children just as they are. Like the centurion’s faith, I believe God has already resolved the emotional issues with Samantha.

Done: I’ve confirmed that my relationship with Samantha has fully returned to how it was before. Grateful!

Day 19- Matthew Chapter 6

<Meditation>

  • Do not perform your righteous acts to be seen by others (1). I have a desire to be acknowledged by others, which falls into this category. It is of no benefit. We should rely on God, who sees what is done in secret, and live honestly. As life goes on, people around us will leave at some point, or we may leave them, gradually fading from each other’s memories. Even family may leave. I should focus on what God is telling me today and how to live in the present. This way, I can escape the grasp of current attachments.
  • God knows what I need before I ask (8). Thus, He surely knows that we are looking for a house these days. Let’s not worry and continue to pray.

<Application>

1.Prayer: Continuously pray for a house that suits our current situation.

  • Planning to buy a house to live in for the next 7-8 years.
  • Criteria: A house around the $150,000 price range that can be lived in and then sold.
  • Currently, our rent is $575. We plan to buy a house worth around $150,000, with an estimated rent value of $800-$900 and move in next year.
  • Pray not to have any more greed (Greed: hoping for the house price to increase or buying a more expensive house than we can afford right now, with the intention of renting it out later).
  • Desire a small house where we can fellowship and serve with the saints.

2. Continue with the plans already in place.

3. Study English (focus for one year)

-History – continue organizing

-Q. T note – continue to record.

Day 18- Matthew Chapter 5

<Meditation>

  • Jesus said that He did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets but to fulfill them. He emphasized that not even the smallest detail of the Law would be done away with until its purpose is achieved. He warned that anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven (verse 17). He stressed the importance of not only following the law but also teaching it correctly (verse 19).
  • Being a teacher is difficult. If one does not teach, perhaps they can avoid the judgment that teachers will face. At least they might avoid the sin of teaching others while not doing what is right themselves.
  • However, knowing God’s will and just living by it alone seems like neglecting my duty. Therefore, I always find myself moving between these two points. It will be the same today and tomorrow. Living in this world is not easy for me. By nature, I am more suited to living quietly on my own, without many relationships with others. There are certainly people who criticize me for living alone, but I know that this lifestyle suits me best.
  • Recently, the immoral actions of Christian leaders have caused a stir in the world. Since I am also in a position of teaching, I must remember today’s message and live by practicing God’s commandments.
  • I used to think, “If a person only teaches what they can practice, there wouldn’t be much they could teach.” (This was my excuse.) But now, my thoughts have changed. Even if I only teach what I can do (even if it’s just one commandment), there is certainly something to teach. Sharing my experiences (failures, frustrations, successes) with other believers and discussing the Word becomes more impactful and enjoyable.
  • Back when I was a college group leader, feeling guilty while teaching students, a senior gave me some advice. He said, “If one only teaches what they can practice, there wouldn’t be much they can teach.” This helped me through that difficult time. God worked through me, even when I was unfaithful. So, looking at these situations, it seems there isn’t always a clear answer.

Day17-Matthew Chapter 3

  • People confess their sins and are baptized by John in the Jordan River. When people are baptized, they confess their sins before receiving baptism (verse 6). Additionally, verse 11 states that John baptized people with water to lead them to repentance. Therefore, it seems that whether before or after baptism, the act of self-repentance remains as important then as it is today.
  • When Jesus was baptized by John, he said, “It is proper for us in this way to fulfill all righteousness” (verse 15). This implies that when we believe in God through Jesus, we should repent of our sins and have a sense of confession.
  • In another scene, John rebukes the Pharisees and Sadducees. When they came to John to be baptized, he reproached them, saying, “Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” (verse 7). John, with anger, tells the Pharisees and Sadducees to “Bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (verse 8). We can see John’s stern but somewhat rough character.

<Meditation>

  • In fact, I used to think that if Samantha, a colleague I’ve been working with, was baptized at a nearby Baptist church, my responsibility would be fulfilled. But today, I feel differently. I feel that I should take care of Samantha until she goes to Texas and receives baptism amidst her family’s blessings. I should provide continuous support through prayer and encouragement.
  • Today, I think about the people I’ve led to preaching and baptism. I feel the need to continue helping them until they are baptized whenever there is an opportunity to preach the gospel.
  • People I’ve preached to so far – Total 7 people: People whose values have changed like mine and whose lives have transformed.
    •  Korea: Kim Kyungjin, Kim Hyunhee, Sung Moseon, Kim Kyungran (Kim Hyunhee’s friend)
    •  USA: Jang Sunmi, Kwon Sewon, Shin Mikyung

<Application>

Let’s pray for Samantha until she can be baptized in Texas, explain baptism to her, and advise her whenever the opportunity arises.

Day16-Matthew Chapter 2

Meditation:

When Jesus was born, the Magi followed a star until it stopped over the place where the child was. There, they worshipped the baby Jesus and opened their treasures to present him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. This event is recorded in Matthew 2:9-11.

This passage is the part where I was questioned by a senior theology student with radical faith. He questioned me and other peers about this part, asking, “Do you really think a star can move?” and stated that it was merely symbolic. At the time, I was confident in the doctrine of ‘Biblical inerrancy,’ believing that there were no errors in all the contents of the Bible because I had been practicing my faith in an evangelical church. Therefore, I easily judged the senior who asked such questions. “I’ve heard about such people in seminary, but here is one doubting the inerrancy of the Bible,” I thought. A female peer deeply pondered his questions, began to doubt her faith, and left the school before completing a semester.

Looking back, I realize how immature my understanding of the Bible was. The Bible, being written by humans, can contain errors in its recording process. Moreover, the authors could have used symbolic language to convey their messages. Acknowledging possible errors in the Bible’s recording does not, however, fundamentally shake my faith in God or the redemptive event of Jesus Christ. This is because, even accepting scientific and archaeological evidence, matters concerning God ultimately belong to the realm of faith. Researching the principles of life and inanimate objects (How?) is accessible to certain individuals. Yet, humanity still cannot answer fundamental questions like why the Earth rotates or orbits the Sun (Why?).

Believing that God started the world belongs to the realm of faith, and it is with this faith that I view the world, leading to awe (e.g., Cosmos documentaries). Eventually, being open to all possibilities after setting aside my convictions born from ignorance, I realized I was getting closer to the truth than before.

Nowadays, humanities can be easily accessed through books, and with the internet and various documents, one can study any desired field alone. Going through resources and lectures to organize my faith, I felt confused but discovered myself growing through what felt like shame of being stripped bare. Thus, I am no longer afraid.

How could one dare to be certain about the future? Looking back at history, nothing is as terrifying as the actions of those who are certain. Having the Bible as a guide for life, if we follow its words and walk with God every day, we will eventually meet Him. On that day, I plan to ask Him everything I was curious about while living on this Earth, such as why all the planets in the solar system orbit the Sun and where the end of the world is.

I hope to understand the essence of faith more deeply by letting go of the stubbornness tied to long-held religious experiences and looking at the Bible anew.

Day 15-Matthew Chapter 1

  • It clarifies Jesus Christ’s lineage as a descendant of Abraham and David. It sequentially mentions the ancestors of the promise. Today, reading Matthew Chapter 1 feels markedly different from when I first read the Bible. After learning more about each of the individuals, I could recall the deeds they had performed each time I read about one descendant after another. A section that seemed tedious to read 20 years ago now reveals its depth. The saying “The more you know, the more you see” applies to reading the Bible too.
  • Let’s apply verses 24 and 25 today. This part was also applied before when there were issues between my husband and me before our marriage. Mary did not directly tell Joseph about the conception by the Holy Spirit. The Lord sent His angel to Joseph, instructing him to take Mary as his wife. From today, I will continue to pray for the service of the local church, relying on this word.

<Testimony>

: An incident that occurred between my husband (Kevin) and me before marriage.

When Kevin and I decided to break up due to problems between us, I prayed to the Lord that the initiative to talk about it would come from the other side. I was afraid of taking responsibility for the breakup because my heart was weak.

Fortunately, there was a church retreat, and I was able to lay everything down and pray to organize my heart in advance. I remember feeling at peace after praying and consulting with a deacon on the last day of the retreat. At that time, there was still a great sorrow because I had to let go of Kevin, whom I still loved in my heart. Laying things down before the Lord is always like this. When I love something and don’t want to let go, the Lord tells me to let it go. The Lord gives peace that the world cannot give when I obey Him fully.

After the church retreat, when I met Kevin, I was already at peace about our separation. Kevin awkwardly suggested that we stay apart for a while. Already feeling at peace, I calmly asked him if his words meant we were breaking up.

“Are you saying we should break up?” I asked, and Kevin, looking a bit flustered, said that wasn’t what he meant. After that, we agreed to not see each other for a while.

Sometime later, I thought about the things I needed to do before breaking up with Kevin.

Kevin had a close friend (Tom) from college, and I always hoped Tom would come to know God. So, I wanted to pass on a sermon tape (by Pastor Lee Hyun-mo) I got from the retreat to Tom, and before Sunday service, I met my husband and asked him to deliver the sermon tape to Tom. After receiving it, my husband sat down next to me during the church service… It seemed like we naturally got back together.

Later one night, I received a call from Tom. He said that after listening to the sermon tape I gave him and reading the Bible, he knelt down, prayed, and met God.

<Application>

I prayed for the suggestion to volunteer at a local church to come from my husband first.

“God, I am already prepared. I wish for You to give my husband (Kevin) a heart that desires joyfully. I pray that our hearts may become one in joy within You.”

Day 14-Mark Chapter 12

  • A scribe’s answer about the greatest commandment is impressive. “There is only one God, and there is no other but Him. Also, to love God with all your heart and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself, is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” When Jesus heard the scribe’s answer, He said, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.”
  • Jesus, upon hearing the scribe’s answer, said, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” Nowadays, the meaning of the gospel seems different from before. “God created us, and if we live according to God’s will (to love our neighbors), we will have eternal life.”
  • Verse 38: Jesus warns people about arrogance and hypocrisy. Wearing long robes, receiving greetings in the marketplaces, having the most important seats in the synagogues, and the places of honor at banquets. Jesus summarizes the judgment these types of people will face in the future: “They devour widows’ houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.”
  • After Verse 41: The story of the widow’s offering comes up, explaining the perspective of God who sees the heart of people. The key message is that it’s important to act genuinely in front of God, regardless of what you do.

<Meditation>

When I act, God sees my heart, so at least if I’m not ashamed in front of God, I can be free from people’s judgments. What I need to be careful about is, when I intend to act, to discern whether it’s inspired by God or comes from my own desire. Because there’s nothing more dangerous than acting on desires that seem right only in front of God. Therefore, I inevitably seek the guidance and confirmation of the Holy Spirit every day. (My confirmation method: I act on it if I receive confirmation at least three times, considering it as God’s guidance.) Since the Holy Spirit resides in me, as mentioned, I believe He will continue to guide me.

<Application>

Decide to go to my coworker Joan and explain about my actions on Friday. (Actions that seemed arrogant) If misunderstood, it could appear as if I disregarded Joan. Just because Samantha has been having bad feelings toward Joan recently doesn’t mean I should have the same feelings.

– Done: Went to Joan on 28th Monday to explain the situation.

Day 13-Mark 10

  • Meditation 1: When a wealthy young man came to Jesus seeking eternal life, Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” The disciples then asked who could be saved. (At that time, Jews considered wealth a blessing from God.) Jesus responded, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Could this answer be foreshadowing Jesus’ future redemptive work?
  • Meditation 2: Verses 29 and 30 contain a challenging concept: “Whoever has left everything for the Lord will receive a hundred times more in this life, along with persecutions, and in the age to come, eternal life.”
    • According to Mark, anyone who has forsaken everything for the Lord will receive a hundredfold in this world but will also face persecutions. This mention of persecutions seems to be an addition by Mark, possibly as a consolation for Christians who were experiencing severe persecutions at the time. Therefore, it’s likely that Mark added this. His record implies that while one receives abundant blessings, including family and material wealth, they will also face persecutions.
    • To summarize Jesus’ words, “Whoever gives up everything will receive a hundredfold in this life and also gain eternal life in the hereafter.” It means that by letting go of greed, one paradoxically gains everything.
  • Meditation 3: Verse 41 discusses James and John asking for authority, and the other ten disciples felt angry upon learning this. It seems that a desire for power existed among all twelve disciples. In response, Jesus said in verse 43, “Whoever wants to be great must become a servant, and whoever wants to be first must be a slave of all.” Even the disciples following Jesus had ambitions for power, suggesting that I might also harbor such desires.
  • Meditation 4: My lifelong challenge is to let go of pride, the desire to boast, and the longing for recognition. Even with a little knowledge, there’s a temptation to show off, to wish for a better position compared to others, and to be prideful. I pray today to surrender these in the presence of the Lord.

<Application>

1. When attending local community gatherings, I will practice not speaking boastfully about what I know.

2. I have arranged to meet Nina’s mother on Thursday, and this time, I plan to ask more about her daughter, Nina. This is because Nina’s mother often asks about Sam, and while responding, I sometimes feel pride in Sam’s school life. In this meeting, I will focus more on listening to Nina’s mother than on speaking myself.

Done: I asked many questions about Nina and spent more time listening.

Day 12- Mark 9

  • Meditation1: In Mark 9, it is recorded that Jesus took Peter, James, and John to a high mountain alone, where He showed them His transfigured form. Even then, Jesus only took His beloved disciples. I too, wish to become one of Jesus’ disciples today, to directly witness His deeds and the works of God right beside Him.
  • Meditation 2: Jesus said, “If I abide in the Father and the Father abides in me, I can know the works of the Father” (Mark 9:23). According to this saying, if I continue to live in fellowship with God, I too will be able to know the works of God. If I could know God’s plan, no matter what happens, fear will disappear. I want to live in that way. ‘To abide in the Father’ means ‘to live by keeping the words of the Father’ taught by Jesus.
  • Meditation 3: In Mark’s Gospel, it is written that a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son; listen to Him.” After this event, Jesus instructed the three disciples not to tell anyone what they had seen “until the Son of Man had risen from the dead.” Also, when healing the sick, He advised the healed not to tell others about their healing. Why did He do this? Perhaps it was to prevent the widespread knowledge that Jesus is the Son of God until His resurrection, which would prove it.
  • Meditation 4: Jesus said, “All things are possible for one who believes” (Mark 9:23). The ‘faith’ mentioned here refers to the belief that God can do anything. When I have such faith, it means I can do all things.
  • Meditation 5: There was an incident where Jesus healed a boy possessed by a demon. Initially, people asked the disciples to drive out the demon, but they could not. However, Jesus did. After this, the disciples asked why they could not drive out the demon, and Jesus replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer” (Mark 9:29).
  • Meditation 6: Then what were the disciples doing instead of praying? What does the mentioned ‘prayer’ mean? Considering the context of the entire Gospel of John, it seems that prayer without faith is not a proper prayer.
  • Meditation 7: A saying that I had not noticed before caught my eye. The disciples told Jesus that some people were driving out demons in His name but were not following them, and they had forbidden these people from doing so. Then Jesus said, “Do not stop him. For no one who performs a miracle in my name can soon afterward speak evil of me, for whoever is not against us is for us.” (Mark 9:38-40)
  • Meditation 8: We cannot accurately judge the ‘doctrines of heresy’ condemned by society as “having no truth in them.” I think we cannot judge even the doctrines historically condemned as heretical in early or medieval Christianity. Only God knows their hearts.

<Application>

Let’s stop repeating ourselves in prayer and pray precisely once.

Day 11-Mark 6

  • When Jesus laid hands on the sick to heal them, Mark recorded that he found their lack of faith strange (Mark recorded their lack of faith).
  • Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs, giving them the authority to cast out unclean spirits. Afterward, the disciples went out and proclaimed, “Repent!” to the people. They also anointed many sick people with oil and cast out demons through prayer.
  • One of the miracles performed by Jesus was the feeding of the five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish, resulting in twelve baskets of leftovers.
  • The disciples were amazed when they saw Jesus walking on the sea. Mark explained that when Jesus performed this miracle, the disciples didn’t fully understand it because their hearts were hardened. Even though they had witnessed previous miracles when Jesus broke bread, they still doubted when faced with new miracles.

Meditation 1:

“If you can believe without doubting and pray, then what Jesus did, we can do too.” This statement can be found in various places in the Gospels where Jesus spoke. So, where does this unwavering faith come from?

  • Let’s reflect on my past experiences. By remembering what God has done for me in the past (responses to prayers), I can pray in faith for things that will happen in the future. For example, a prayer of unwavering faith might be, “Since God responded even in difficult situations in the past, if this current situation is also within God’s will, it will come to pass.” This attitude in prayer is the result of accumulating many experiences of faith.
  • Therefore, I always pray for my son Sam to have more experiences of faith (answered prayers, testimonies…). Those who have experienced God generally don’t easily waver in their faith. Such prayers help us move away from being fixated on the results of our prayers (escaping a faith roller coaster).
  • When praying, recalling the grace God has shown us in the past and the stories we have shared with God is a crucial aspect of following God’s path. I am grateful that I can remember these experiences and stories with God right now.
  • From now on, I am determined to recall and record the memories in my mind as much as possible. Blogging has become a great treasure to me. If I hadn’t started blogging, I probably wouldn’t even be recording this QT now. Animals leave behind leather when they die, but I want to leave behind a blog for my descendants. 😊

<Application>:

I recall one of the deeply impactful experiences from my past when the Lord worked in my life, and I write it down.

I remembered the experience when Sam first joined the university church’s worship team as an official member. Hanna’s family also came along at that time.

We have decided to attend the first praise and worship service led by Sam as a member of the university church praise team.

The university church is six hours away, so to attend the worship service, we had to leave early in the morning. However, we overslept, leading to a late departure. Due to this delay, my husband and I argued, and my angry husband drove above the speed limit. I had to hold my frustration while looking at my husband in that situation. I was able to hold it because I thought Satan was involved in this.

Fortunately, we arrived on time. As we saw Sam praising God, we offered glory to God and shed tears of thanksgiving. All the conflicts with my husband were resolved after the worship service of thanksgiving.

I have been praying for Sam to praise God since he was in first grade. Since Sam’s high school years, there has always been a recurring prayer topic when counseling with Sam about his college career. It involved the church, faithful seniors, faithful friends, the praise team, and the praise leader.

One day, in Philadelphia church, after a certain evangelist counseled with Sam and then called me to give advice, I recalled the words, “Steve’s faith is either all or nothing. His mother should pray a lot.” After that, I prayed more diligently for Sam.

There have been various difficulties along the way, but the result of continuous prayer for Sam for 12 years without doubting has been realized in Sam’s freshman year of college. God answered the prayer of hope that He gave me.

Since joining the praise team, Sam found it truly difficult to balance with his university studies. However, Sam persevered, relying on God, and successfully continued his service.